1. |
Staring At The Sun
04:52
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I've been staring at the fucking sun
I'm just doing what I've always done
When I look away I just feel better
I'm giving up again
Because my time is better spent
Dissolving in my bed
And there's a pounding in my head
That's screaming, "please, not this again.
No please, not this again."
And I'll walk single file with myself
Because sometimes I just feel like someone else
And I know it's hard to tell
But I'm burning up inside this living hell
Every day
I'm pretending to be awake
But I'm a decade away
Building fantasies from better days
And I know that what I see
Will never be true to me
When it's all said and done
Will there be hope for me away from the sun?
I've been staring at the fucking sun
It's like a staring contest that no one has won
And no one ever will
But now I've gone to go get something done
But I do everything and nothing all at once
If you ask me to run, I'll run
I'll run so hard I cannot breathe
I'll fall so hard I'll break my dreams
So lay with me
We can fix them in my sleep
Every day
I'm pretending to be awake
But I'm a decade away
Building fantasies from better days
And I know that what I see
Will never be true to me
When it's all said and done
Will there be hope for me away from the sun?
Something tells me that the sun won't always be so bright
And i'll put up a better fight
When that day comes will the small relief make the damage feel alright
And in the darkness will I ever miss the light?
Something tells me that the sun won't always be so bright
And i'll put up a better fight
When that day comes will the small relief make the damage feel alright
Will I ever feel alright?
I've been staring at the fucking sun
I'm just doing what I've always done
When I look away I feel good for once
Every day
I'm pretending to be awake
But I'm a decade away
Building fantasies from better days
And I know that what I see
Will never be true to me
When it's all said and done
Will I be staring at the fucking sun?
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2. |
Golden Statues
03:23
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I had been stuck inside a dream
Where an illness was a treat
Because the medicine had never been so sweet
But now I'm waking up today
To find the words I knew were changed
And it churns my stomach and makes my body ache
Ignore, insult
Invent a mask designed to hide behind
(Mask designed to hide)
Your second face has never looked so nice
Restrain, reset
Return to breaking mirrors with your mind
(Mirrors with your mind)
For your counterfeited life
Although we walk the thinnest line
And though the fear is so alive I'll try
To redefine the flaws in our design
While I was unaware my frame of mind
Could be quantified
I turn to golden statues
Just to find that they have hollow insides
And as a matter of fact
I'll walk through hell and back
To stop the panic attacks I get while your away
Because it's what I wish for night and
Days go by
Where I can't find the air to speak the
Words you can't
Ignore, insult
Invent a labyrinth designed to hide
(Maze designed to hide)
The beast that you can't seem to
Restrain, reset
And I'll return the favor by
Raising your poison glass
But I won't drink to that
Although we walk the thinnest line
And though the fear is so alive I'll try
To redefine the flaws in our design
While I was unaware my frame of mind
Could be quantified
I turn to golden statues
Just to find that they have hollow insides
So swipe at me with crystal knives
I'm not a part of this invisible fight
You think is justified and calculated
When all it's been is manipulated
You're captivated but it's in your mind
And I don't understand why you're wasting your fucking time
Keep on misleading the world
And you'll get what you deserve
The taste from eating your words
Has no cure
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3. |
Better Dead
03:48
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How does it feel to sleep?
I spend every night on my feet
Filling out false guarantees
All I can do is sink
I'm filling my bones with concrete
And diving in deeper seas
I can try
To hold everything I can in my hands
But they'll give, and they'll fall,
And I'll have to start again
I'm breaking through my skin
And wearing myself thin
I gave away the pieces of my skeleton
I'm tearing out my hair
To pull the thoughts out of my head
'Cause I know that I'm worth something
But I thought I'd be better dead
I'm lying down in coffins
I've crafted for myself
True masterpieces built to keep the confidence I held
I can't stop the heavens
As dark clouds start to form
And I wanted better weather,
But I asked for storms
I'd take a bullet for someone else
But I wouldn't for myself
Because I'm only here to help
No I'm only here to help
'm breaking through my skin
And wearing myself thin
I gave away the pieces of my skeleton
I'm tearing out my hair
To pull the thoughts out of my head
'Cause I know that I'm worth something
But I thought I'd be better dead
If you look up
You'll see me falling down
Like a comet to Earth
I'll make my home in the ground
'm breaking through my skin
And wearing myself thin
I gave away the pieces of my skeleton
I'm tearing out my hair
To pull the thoughts out of my head
'Cause I know that I'm worth something
But I thought I'd be better dead
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4. |
No Debut
04:11
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Oh no
Where to go?
I'm at war with the fork in the road
It's too far
To see
The resolution. The picture in front of me.
There's a force
Pulling me
It feels like it's right there
Though I can't see the culprit's face
I still believe
It's preconceived
Nothing more than a question dismissed
A twist of an injured wrist
But I swore I'd never wait for clarity to drift ashore
But now I'm stuck in moments past
And I've put more sand in my hour glass
But I'm always left drowning in pools of candlewax
And on the edge of space
Overcame with the racing urge to fly on my own
Guess soaring's easier said than done
It's no debut
The sky that we all used to look up to
Has been cascading down
Yeah I'm beaten and battered now
(I'm all black and blue)
From scars shredding my view in two
Although I know this book's not born in stone
It's like each chiseled page has it's own set of bones
But I'll arrive surprised
Although I know that I've derived
That ocean currents flow the way they flow
It's no debut
The sky that we all used to look up to
Has been cascading down
Yeah I'm beaten and battered now
(I'm all black and blue)
From scars shredding my view in two
It's like the difference between fire and flame
One's bound to transpire
The other one's calling my name
Almost a shame
To preach love
To practice pain
It's such a fucking shame
It's nothing new
I've taken for granted all that I've been through
But who else would see this through?
It's no debut
The sky that we all used to look up to
Has been cascading down
Yeah I'm beaten and battered now
(I'm all black and blue)
From scars shredding my view in two
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5. |
Chapter One
04:42
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I've been asleep for years
Or at least that's how it feels
The night's been never ending
My reality's been bending
Pretending never felt so real
But I never found words to make it clear
That I won't skip town while you're still around
Because there's too many things that you need to hear
And I've wanted to tell you how these years have been
So where do I begin?
These times I tried to look from eye to eye
Changed to blazing brand new trails side by side
And I won't lie
I've never blown my cover
Never told another
Never shown my true colors before
Now the difference is that I've been influenced
And told the testament from hardcore regiments
Of teachers, of preachers, of no names and presidents
But none of that's as evident as everything I've learned from you
How can I sleep at night?
How can I stand upright?
How can I walk or talk or feel alright?
If I wasn't in the wrong place at the right time?
I know I've always been the next best thing
But these circumstances held out branches
That bridged our inconsistencies
Don't say I'm wrong
Yeah it won't be long
'Til tonight gets lost to the break of dawn
Put out the sun 'cause I'm not pressing on
So won't you come along?
We never asked for this unrest
But you can count on me to protest
The demolition of this fortress we built ourselves
No one can tell us when to say fair well
And I've always heard that home is where the heart is
So I guess I'm moving in
So take this moment to dry your eyes
When the smoke clears
We'll live our lives together
And throw away those old goodbyes
We don't need bankrupt minds to tell us what's unwise
I know I've always been the next best thing
But these circumstances held out branches
That bridged our inconsistencies
Don't say I'm wrong
Yeah it won't be long
'Til tonight gets lost to the break of dawn
Put out the sun 'cause I'm not pressing on
And we won't meet again
'Cause you can't meet what didn't leave
And please don't wait and hold your breath
'Cause you can't miss what hasn't left
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6. |
Left To My Own Devices
04:18
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In this bedroom where I lay
I heard you screaming from a million miles away
You couldn't take another day
And as you locked the door, I swore I hear you say
"We had loved once, but we forgot."
And I'll be here wishing you were kidding when I know that you're not
And in this place you used to stay
I heard you leaving for a million miles away
You couldn't take another day
As I was shaking I could swear I heard you say
"They loved me once, but they forgot."
I'll be here wishing you were kidding when I know that you're not
I gave you all that I have got
And I'll be here wishing you were kidding when I know that you're not
And once the tremors pass
We'll leave behind the aftermath
With all the madness gone astray
We left the ruins back a million miles away
There was still someone there, afraid
And as she looked around she had nothing to say
So she walked out the door
Looked to the sky for something more
Her feet lifted up
And she began to soar
But the air began to thin
And her head began to swell
Well what the hell am I to do
As she begins to tell
How our deceit left her stranded
And the Torment weighs her down
And her head just fucking bursts
As she spirals towards the ground
As the blood splattered in town
A crown gathered around
We loved you most, but we forgot
And I'll be here wishing you were kidding when I know that you're not
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7. |
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I'm getting trampled by the demons that you make me out to be
Stuck in a stampede, getting crushed by every word you say to me
Break off a piece of me and chew it up to see
If the taste can help you mend your memory
You were my flame
You kept me warm on freezing days
Now I'm a torch and you're a pool of gasoline
Something's just not the same in the way you say my name
It used to sound pristine
But now your voice is tearing at the seams
You know how my blood drips
Faster falling from my lips
With every word I bind my arms
With every breath you tear me apart
I'm alright you're just the song I wanna hear while I die
So end it here and sing to me tonight
I buried my head in my hands
I thought I'd dug so deep I might never be seen again
I'm sure that I deserved this
My morals hit or miss
I've been a poster boy for worthless from the start
You know how my blood drips
Faster falling from my lips
With every word I bind my arms
With every breath you tear me apart
I'm alright you're just the song I wanna hear while I die
So end it here and sing to me tonight
I'm just find you're only everything I need to stay alive
All alone I'll find my own way towards the light
And I've never felt defeat
Like when you used my bloody hand to wipe the tear from your cheek
I'm alright you're just the song I wanna hear while I die
While I die
I'm alright you're just the song I wanna hear while I die
All alone I'll find my own way towards the light
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8. |
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Thought for a while that I could rest now
Realizing that I just don't know
How to bury my troubled head where I think it should go
Starting to feel like a small grain of sand
I drove to the coast in hopes that I can
Be swept off my feet, and swept out to sea
So I can finally feel at home
But the waves held me back and I came crashing on the shore
I guess I'll get up and go
I'm picking up the last of me
And I'm getting on the road
'Cause I like to run through busy streets
And I love to gamble my bones
I'm burning holes in memories
So I don't dwell on the past
But maybe I'll add kerosene
And turn these haunted photographs to ash
It could be that I'm escaping
But I might just enjoy the feeling
Of when my fist breaks through the wall
This window feels so cold to me
And the grass is starting to crack
When it breaks I'll wish I wasn't free
And beg for yesterday to take me back
Either way I find I'm always falsely longing
I'll sink into the folds in my sheets
In hope that someday my eyes my close
So I can rest assured this bed i built will hold
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9. |
Keepsake
04:22
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I can't find where I've been
Seems my eyes have been shut
I've lost sight of all the guidance that I've got
I'm riddled with sin
Not the kind that you die for but the kind that you never forgive
It's a consequence of my negligence
It's hard to explain
I love all these faces yet hardly remember their names
I'm so ashamed
Take your pictures and just rub me out
I'm sure they'll all look much better than now
It's so hard to breath in
'Cause my lungs filling up
Serves no purpose 'cause they'll never stitch these cuts
I'm breaking my ribs
Not for punishment just to have nothing to hold my heart in
'Cause it suffocates in my chest
It feels so strange
I love all these faces but hardly remember their names
And I'm to blame
Take your pictures and just rub me out
I'm sure they'll all look much better than now
I will reconcile what I've done
It's a promise that I wrote in blood
I know it's insane
I love all these faces but hardly remember there names
Everything's changed
Take your pictures and just rub me out
I'm sure they'll all look much better than now
I'm nothing the world can't continue without
So carry on, I'll find my way out through the clouds
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